WARNING TL;DR

I have been harbouring this utter disgust and hate for stupid Malay Muslim people for.. ok I wont say a long time. Last year since college when I had to take Islamic studies maybe? There are several things that bug me about religious people who I deem are daft rumour believing idiots. Maybe its because we originate from a superstitious culture.

I’m now going to write a list of things that annoy me and I’m going to go crazy on it. Forgive me my friends who are religious, I believe in God too, I’m just not a rumour believing idiot.

1. Neil Armstrong
It is widely believed that Neil Armstrong went to fucking space, heard the azan, came back and became a Muslim. I have been hearing this shit since I was young, even in college. People who tell me this as though it was the truth include Ustats and Ustazahs.

Now being the naturally curious person I am, I read Neil Armstrong’s wiki page, and found no trace of his conversion. Hmm. then I googled it. and hey, first result I came upon says that it was a hoax. Yeah, yeah, internet you shouldn’t believe everything you read on it (This is why I was told when I told my Ustat in my Islamic Studies class during my first semester in college, got ridiculed for it too. sort of)

You can read all about it here http://www.answering-islam.org/Hoaxes/neil.html

Believe it or not, up to you. I do
And you know why. Because it makes sense.

Now, here in Malaysia, we are scared shitless by Jews and we also believe they run the world. More on that later, but first of all, if Neil Armstrong bloody heard the Azan in space, dont you think there would be a shit load of frenzy from HIM?

Have you ever heard of a report of how Neil Armstrong came out to defend Islam? Muhammad Ali did it, Cat Stevens did it, what about Neil Armstrong? NOTHING YOU SILLY BASTARDS. Are the Jews or Americans so afraid of Islam that they would cover this shit up? Why dont they cover up Muhammad Ali? Malcolm X? Why didnt they kill off Cat Stevens before he told his story of how God saved him by means of a small wave?

2. Intergenus Breeding.

For those of you who don’t know what a genus is, in the genetic tree, its the thing above species (genus > species > subspecies or something like this)

Now, I was taught in school (and again in College, damn I really dislike that Ustat), that pigs and dogs are unclean animals. So are their offspring, even if they breed with another animal the offspirng from that union is unclean. Hmm.. eh wait, breed with another animal??

I was told of the existence of Kunjings (Catdogs) Kamjings (Goatdogs) and other such things.

WOW INTERGENUS BREEDING
NATURAL INTERGENUS BREEDING

By now you guys are probably thinking of all those funny/sick pics/vids of chickens mating with rabbits, cats fucking dogs etc. I dont deny they can mate. I deny that any offspring can exist.

I wonder why scientist are cracking skulls trying to create intergenus babies in the lab. I wonder why one doctor who succesfully spliced up some rodent like creature with another genus of rodent like creature was so hyped up about it. I wonder why he even had to do it in the lab. I mean, it can happen naturally right?

Science is so outdated on natural phenomenon.

3. People getting turned into animals.

In the Quran it is said that God was angered by some of the Children of Israel, and so God said “Be ye apes” and they transformed into apes (see, its not just Christians who think Darwin is the devil)

Most of us exposed to Malay culture are familiar with popular curses such as “Aku sumpah kau jadi katak” and so on and so forth.

Now while I was in high school a video circulated through phones about a man who was cursed to become a fish. For those of you who haven’t seen the video, I shall now provide a picture.

This ladies and Gentleman, is a man turned into a fish. See the eyes and the mouth? Undeniable proof!

Oh btw, can someone search google images for “guitarfish”. I hear they have this awesome pic of a fish with an afro playing a Gibson.

4. Jews.

Okay, maybe alot of people hate the Jews. But the Muslim world generally despises Jews and Israel. Well I dont.

You hate Israel? Want to boycott Israel? Well if you’re using any of the new Intel processors, either go kill yourself, or throw your computer or laptop away and get an AMD. Yeah, Intel is manufactured in Penang, WOO NATIONAL PRIDE. Well guess who developed the new Core chips. SURPRISE! ISRAEL BABY!

Yes I disagree with some of Israel’s policies, I disagree with their treatment of the Palestines, I might even disagree with them having Israel in the first place. But if you people are good Muslims, you must know that God promised the Jews Israel, it is their birth right, so let them be.

Also, you know how we’re supposed to respect the prophets and blabla? Well the prophets mentiond in the Quran that we have to know because it is wajib, from between Isaac and Muhammad, are Jews. Do you know what Jews are called in the Quran? They’re called the Children of Israel (Bani Israel) Do you know why? Well, maybe its because the 12 tribes of Israel, are, well, descent from the 12 sons of Israel. Who’s Israel? Well you guys know him as Jacob, or Yakub.

So no I dont hate the Jews. That would be hating the children of prophets, but hey, we can kill the nephew and the grandsons of Rasulullah, why not hate a bunch of Jews.

I wonder if Heaven is like the first 35 seconds of this clip

Around 8pm Sunday 4 or so hours after I got back from a camping trip in Sungai Ampang I picked up my stuff and left for KL Sentral. At first my dad sent me to the KL Railway station despite me telling him otherwise. I guess he still didnt understand that KL Sentral had taken over as the railway hub and wouldnt budge until I showed him a bloody sms stating the time and place -___-”"

Anyway, met up with my cousin at KL Sentral, and we soon got on our train around 9ish. We didnt manage to get beds so we had to settle down for seats. The trip from KL to Singapore would take around 8-9 hours. It was a pretty uneventful ride, except for some drama when an old man got pissed that he didnt get the seat that his ticket wrote (KTM had fucked up and booked the seat twice) and something about the door not automatically closing. Most of the ride was spent trying to sleep and smoking our brains out at the.. damn dont know the word, that part of the train in between passenger cars. (Also, to old (or new) friends that dont know I smoke. SURPRISE!)

Pic Courtesy of Sharina

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So I just got back from Singapore yesterday morning as part of tiring but fun (mostly) 5 day adventure away from home.

On Saturday morning, after some planning with Siddiq earlier in the week we set off to Sungai Ampang a.k.a Kemensah Falls with 4 other friends, Joe, Asyraf a.k.a England, Helmi and his friend Botak (real name not remembered). Original plans included Jo (couldn’t come because of class) and Syami (Didnt wake up, arse)

We were supposed to meet up at 8 and leave Cheras not long after, but Joe fell asleep and only woke up around 8.40 -___-” By the time he reached and we settled some other stuff it was almost 10 and we left.

Sungai Ampang is located not far from Zoo Negara and to go there you had to go through Kampung Kemensah.

Pic Courtesy of waterfallsofmalaysia.com

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